Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Walk of Shame today included voting.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
