That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
