I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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