his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
