i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We are two peas in an std pod
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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