If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think I am morally bankrupt
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
