I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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