the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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