Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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