try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
