its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm getting married
To pizza
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
