glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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