She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
