somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
