Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
