you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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