guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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