Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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