I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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