dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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