Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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