Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
