It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
