I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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