About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
