The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize