The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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