Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
