I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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