I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
