It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
