Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
