you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize