Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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