just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
