the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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