All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
