if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize