i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
