Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
