just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
