Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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