My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are all done wearing pants today
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
