laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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