I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you will always have a special place in my vag
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
