She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
