I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
