He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
