Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You pole danced in your parka.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
