Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize