Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
