Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
