Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
