Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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