Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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