But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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