We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
