$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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