how do flat chested girls get laid?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
