You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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