He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
